Week 13 2011

This weeks bit of Fun as found on the internet:

Life After Marriage

Daniel and Jessica, young couple, got married and went happily on their honeymoon. When they got back, Jessica immediately 'phoned her mother and her mother obviously asked, 'How was the honeymoon, dearest?'

'Oh, Ma,' she replied, 'the honeymoon was wonderful. So romantic...'

Then Jessica burst out crying. 'But, Ma, as soon as we returned home Daniel started using the most ghastly language... saying things I've never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Ma.'

'Calm down, Jessica!,' said her mother, 'Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?'
Still sobbing, Jessica whispered, 'Oh, Ma...words like dust, wash, cook, and iron.'

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Suisse Army Make-up Pen Knife

Here we literally take a leaf out of the Suisse army pen knife. Instead of a blade we have the hair-dryer, instead of corkscrew we have a lipstick.

Features of the Suisse Army Make-up Pen Knife

Far from picking stones out of boy-scout's hooves, this knife will help groom any girl into a film star.

1) Miniature hair-dryer to coiffure her hair.
2) Selection of lipsticks for that kiss-me-quick look.
3) Eyebrow pencil for that sultry look.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

These made me smile:

---------------------------------------------------------------------

We are now a quarter of the way through the year and time seems to be going faster than ever.

Carole has been off work all week with a bad back so I have spent time with her rather than getting on with some of the outstanding projects.

Monday night I spent some time playing with my Heathkit SW-717 I purchased a a rally last year. It seems to work but needs some tidying up and improvements to the selectivity before it will get major use.

Wednesday night Colin and I recorded the latest episode of the ICQPODCAST for release this Sunday. This is episode number 75 so we are three quarters of the way to our century.

Sunday Colin released the latest episode of the ICQPODCAST.

ICQ Podcast S04 E07 - Miltary Radio

News Stories include :-

• Future of New Zealand Magic Band
• Northern Ireland Amateur Radio Club of the Year
• New 2i0 calls at Lough Erne Rally
• Luxembourg 60m beacon LX0HF
• Russian Federation joins CEPT Radio Amateur License
• No increase in amateur radio licence fees
• ISS Amateur Radio Station helps Japan Earthquake
• New sub-9kHz Amateur Radio website
• Amateur radio society to open new premises
• Cork Radio Club
• Early Australian amateur radio callsigns

Your feedback, upcoming events and Martin (M1MRB) talks to Dennis Noe (M0NDJ) about Miltary / Clansman Radio.

The ICQPOCAST can be downloaded from http://www.icqpodcast.com

Week 12 2011

This week’s bit of fun:

Why do vampires use mouthwash?
To stop bat breath.

Why do ducks look so sad?
Because when they preen their feathers they get down in the mouth.

Why do people laugh up their sleeves?
Because that's where their funny bones are.

Why is it if you send a package by Ship it is called Cargo, and if you send it by Car it is called a Shipment?

What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.

A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.

What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical?
Fiddler on the hoof.

I don’t get better with age:-)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I spent Monday evening with the Coulsdon Amateur Transmitting Society. I was asked to give a talk on the ICQPODCAST project for 2010 which was the TenTec 1330. It was well received and I took the time to catch up with some armatures I haven’t seen for a long time.

On Wednesday night I had a long chat with Colin. Thanks to Skype it’s free to do VOIP calls.

Thursday was club night for the Sutton and Cheam Amateur Radio Society. We had a very good lecture on Bletchley Park and the code breakers.

Saturday was revision and exam day for our intermediate students. We managed to get six out of seven to pass the exam with very high marks.

Sunday I took as a day off doing jobs around the house.

Week 11 2011

This week's bit of fun:

You're A Ham

35 ways to spot a Radio Amateur

From the web site of the West Tennessee Amateur Radio Society http://www.qsl.net/wtarc/youreaham.htm

You might be (and probably are) an Amateur Radio operator, if:

1. You have bought black electrical tape in ten packs.
2. You have stripped wire with your teeth.
3. You have told your child, "One day, all this will be yours," and he or she did not respond at all.
4. You would rather help another Ham friend to hook up new equipment, or to put up a new tower, than to mow your own lawn.
5. You have grabbed the wrong end of a hot soldering iron.

6. You have gotten an RF burn from your own antenna.
7. You have given out RST reports while you were on the telephone.
8. When the microphones or visual aids at a meeting did not work, you rushed up to the front to fix them.
9. You have told the XYL, when she noticed a new rig in the shack, "Why, that has been there for years."
10. You have set your watch to UTC only.

11. You have had to patch your roof after an antenna project fell onto it.
12. You have put a GPS tracker in the XYL's car or on the riding mower, just so you could watch it on APRS.
13. You have tapped out "CQ" or "HI" on the car horn in Morse Code to another Ham.
14. Your teenager has refused to ride in your car because it looks like a porcupine.
15. You know the Latitude, Longitude, and Elevation of your home QTH.

16. You have gone into the local Radio Shack store, and the store clerk has asked you where something is and how it works.
17. You have answered the telephone with your call sign, and then finished the conversation with "73" and your call sign.
18. You have looked for antennas, radios, and Morse Code in movies and television shows.
19. When you look at anything made of wire or metal tubing, you wonder if it could be used as an antenna.
20. Your call sign is listed on one or more of your hats, T-shirts, or other garments.

21. You regularly carry one or more tools in your pockets at any given time.
22. When any kinds of batteries go on sale, you get really excited.
23. When you look at a barbecue grill, it creates ideas about ground plane antennas.
24. You have designated all your friends as Hams or Non-Hams.
25. You have referred to your Ham friends by their call sign suffixes instead of their real names.

26. You have intentionally confused Non-Hams by telling them that the only things you talk about on the air are pork products.
27. You have intentionally scared Non-Hams with the word "RADIATION"!
28. You have looked at telephone poles and power line towers as potential antenna supports.
29. You have thought you were still hearing CW, SSB, or SSTV tones, even when your Ham radio was off.

30. Your Go-Bag has more clothes in it than your dresser does.
31. You have a SKYWARN sticker on your back window.
32. Your significant other sits in the back seat, and your radios ride in the front.
33. Your neighbours wonder if you are a "Narc" (narcotics officer), a Spy, or a Federal Agent.
34. The cops pull you over because they want to see the inside of your car.
35. Your cell-phone's ring tone is your Ham radio call sign, sent in Morse Code http://www.planetofnoise.com/midi/morse2mid.php .

--------------------------------------------------------------------

My son Colin came over from Ireland to spend a few days with us. We collected him early Sunday morning from Gatwick Airport. But not as early as Colin had to get up. On the way home we stopped off for breakfast before visiting my Mum / Colin's Gran.

I had to work Monday but meet up for lunch with Carole and Colin. I the evening I took Colin to meet the guys at the scout hut for our Monday night play session. It's always fun with lots going on and Colin enjoyed the evening. I think if he lived in South London he would go every Monday night.

I took a days holiday on Tuesday and did some jobs in the morning. In the afternoon Colin and I went into London before going to see a football match in Barnet. We lost 1:0 but still very entertaining.

Wednesday Colin went home to Ireland.

Thursday Colin and I recorded the latest episode of the ICQPODCAST.

Saturday was another training day with our students taking their exam next Saturday afternoon.

Sunday Colin released our latest episode of the ICQPODCAST

ICQ Podcast S04 E06 - Radio Play Night

Series Four Episode Six of the ICQ Podcast has been released. News Stories include :-

• ARISS inspires students to study science
• Humber Fortress DX ARC to activate GB0BB
• Radio amateurs killed by Somali pirates
• RAYNET member gets funding
• IC-9100 transceiver now available for orders
• UK Propagation charts for March 2011
• Micro watt ERP 9 kHz signal copied at 45km
• New look for radio charity
• VHF activity on the increase

Your feedback, Propagation Report from Steve Nichols (G0KYA) and Colin (M6BOY) reviews a Radio Play Night.

The ICQPOCAST can be downloaded from http://www.icqpodcast.com

Week 10 2011

This week’s bit of fun:

Amish Humor

Sign behind an Amish carriage:

"Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on grass and oats.

CAUTION: Avoid exhaust!"

Wasn't Thinking

The police responded to an alarm at an elementary school. They responded in time to see a suspect running through the cafeteria and out the back door. They were not able to catch him. But when he ran out, the suspect dropped his cell phone.

The police picked up the phone, searched thought the list of contacts and called one labeled "Ma."

Ma gave the police her son's name.

----------------------------------------------------------

Top 25 Engineering Terms and Expressions (What they say and what they really
mean)

• Customer satisfaction is believed to be assured. (We're so far behind schedule that the customer will settle for anything.)
• Please see me / Let's discuss it. (I need your help. I've screwed up again.)
• The project is in process. (It's so tied up in red tape that it's completely hopeless.)
• We're trying a number of different approaches. (We still guessing, at this point.)
• We're following the standard. (We've always done it this way.)
• Close project coordination. (We met together and had coffee.)
• Years of development. (It finally worked.)
• Energy saving. (Turn off the power to save electricity.)
• We'll have to abandon the entire concept. (The only person who understood the thing just quit.)
• We had a major technological breakthrough. (It's boring, but it looks high tech.)
• We're preparing a report with a fresh approach. (We just hired a couple of kids out of college.)
• Preliminary operational tests proved inconclusive. (It blew up when we flipped the switch.)
• Test results proved extremely gratifying. (Yahoo! It actually worked.)
• Please read and initial. (We want to spread around the responsibility.)
• Tell us what you are thinking. (We'll listen, but if it disagrees with what we've already done or are planning to do, forget it.)
• Tell us your interpretation. (Let's hear your bull.)
• We'll look into it. (Forget it! We've got so many other problems already, we'll never get to it.)
• No maintenance. (If it breaks, we can't fix it.)
• Low maintenance. (If it breaks, we're no likely able to fix it.)
• All new. (None of the parts are interchangeable with the previous design.)
• Rugged. (Needs major equipment to lift it.)
• Robust. (More than rugged.)
• Light weight. (A little less than rugged.)
• Fax it to me. (I'm too lazy to write it down.)
• I haven't gotten your email. (It's been days since I've checked my email.)

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Another busy week here in radio land, It started with the Monday play group night. This turned into a round table and we had a good discussion on various topics.

Thursday is also a natter night for us in the main bar of Sutton United. I arrived late after visiting mum and only stayed for an hour. I went home and spent the rest of the evening with Carole.

Friday I visited the Crystal Palace radio club. I had been asked to give a talk on the TenTec 1330 transceiver I built last year. I enjoyed this visit and even purchased another multi meter for my collection from a silent key sale.

Saturday we were training all day with two more sessions before our students tale their exam.

Sunday morning I collected Colin from Gatwick airport. Colin is over from Ireland for a few days.